Still in Progress


While it seems that WeeZül's impact on society has lessened, the alien race, or races, intent on weakening mankind in preparation for a not-so-hostile takeover, has continued to introduce new agents as part of its world-domination sheme. It is the continued duty of the Men in Khakis to recognize these threats and do what is necessary to erase all evidence of their presence on earth. Here are the ones who seem to have become the most recent threats:

1. Chris Tucker. This one is currently our greatest threat. Sneaking into the film media via supporting roles, such as in The Fifth Element, Friday and Jackie Brown, this effeminate-voiced, jive-talking alien proved to be a tougher target than we originally thought when he starred with Jackie Chan in the runaway hit Rush Hour. We believe that the Tucker alien is trying to weaken young moviegoers, especially males, into believing: A) It takes repulsive banter and a lack of machismo to impress women, thus slowing down the human reproduction rate, and B) Little talent is needed to become successful, thus weakening the human spirit and earthlings' overall motivation. These attributes are similar to those we have discovered in WeeZül.

2. Jesse Camp. The rise of this MTV VJ has perplexed us, thus providing more evidence into the theory that the rock 'n' roll channel is run by an alien race. While he has yet to appear in a movie, we fear that it is only a matter of time. Right now, the only thing MiKs can do with this creature is wait and see, but if you are a movie producer, we recommend that you do not approach this individual, because we believe he is talentless and dangerous.

3. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Once again, another being that is trying to prove that lack of talent and motivation leads to success. The MiK has continually tried to remove evidence of this kick-boxing creature, but everytime we think we have contained the problem, he makes another movie! Now writing and directing his own films, we are beginning to fear that he has powers that cannot be suppressed. If you have any videotapes of his films, destroy them immediately before they can reproduce.

There are others that the MiKs are cautious of, but complete evidence of an alien presence in their bodies has not been determined. While we do not have authorization to move forward on these certain individuals, I would recommend you take caution when viewing movies starring the likes of Seth Green, Milla Jovovich or members of certain singing groups.

You have been warned, now go

Coming soon: The successful cases of the MiKs.

In the meantime, if you know of any actor or actress that the MiKs should be suspicious of, please e-mail us. Your assistance is appreciated.

Read the responses.

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