When struggling with Anger
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As there is a good jealousy and a bad jealousy so there is a good anger
and a bad anger. Good anger is grief at what is happening to others; bad
anger is a grudge at what is happening to us.
Why we get angry at all? Resolving conflicts in life requires understanding
the anatomy of anger. For many people, anger is the most common response
when conflict occurs. Here are some of the reasons why we show anger:
May be, because,
a).our rights have been violated, b).our needs have not been met, or c).we
have been hurt. For some people, it's safer to show anger than to acknowledge
hurt.
Anger can be a powerful weapon-it can control and direct your life; it
can change your disposition and countenance (Genesis 4:6,7).
So Anger must be mastered or controlled. Uncontrolled anger can result
in:
1. Bitterness that leads to resentment-hatred develops; relationships
will become bitter, 2. Depression-you can come under its load and it presses
hard against your mind,
3.Conflict with God-you'll begin to doubt and question God; can't enjoy
fellowship with God.
Unrighteous anger comes about largely from someone or something
blocking our goal. Every action we undertake is an attempt to reach
a goal that deep down makes good sense to us. When a goal is blocked,
depending on how important the goal seems to us, the consequent emotion
will be either a feeling of frustration or blazing anger. It is harmful
to deny we are angry; we should always acknowledge it, and then focus
on what is causing the anger. Find out if the underlying cause is that
a goal we believe we must get to in order to feel inwardly satisfied or
fulfilled has been blocked.
The way to avoid incapacitating anger is to see that the obstruction
of a goal makes no difference to our spiritual security( in Christ). And
we must know, also, the difference between a desire and a demand. When
we simply desire something and it is blocked, we are only mildly
frustrated. When we demand something and it is blocked, we become
deeply frustrated. Those whose confidence is in Christ, rather than in
the good feelings that come from the achievement of goals, find anger
to be no longer an unmanageable issue.
"Father, help me understand
the difference between a desire and a demand, for I see it is a watershed
issue. May I be so secure in You that the blocking of my goals is a minor
rather than a major issue. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen."
Scriptures on which to reflect:
1.Real life is not in temporal things but in God- so look up!: Colossians
3: 2-4.
2.There is a goal that can never be blocked-is it your goal?: 2Corinthians
5: 9.
3.Live always to please Him (the Lord): Ephesians 5:8-10.
4.Paul's goals were godly goals-what about yours?: Philippians 3: 13-14.
5.You're a fool if you get angry: Ecclesiastes 7: 9.
6.Anger and righteousness are incompatible: James 1: 19-20.
7.Deal with anger the same day as it arises: Ephesians 4: 26-27.
"Let everyone be quick to hear,
slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19b."
***************************Letter #29 (5.8.2000)*****************************
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