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How can I live with my loss?Recently we have seen the passing away of those who were close to us as well as those who were an inspiration to us. I have just heard about another death in a family who were so friendly with us. All of a sudden that dear sister became a widow! You may have recently lost someone you dearly loved. It may have been a spouse of many years, a child of only a few months, a loving father, or a trusted friend. No matter what the relationship, the separation has been painfully agonizing. Perhaps you have just learned that the cancer is back and nothing more can be done. Or you may be facing the loss of a job, a career, a home, or a business. Each person's loss and suffering has its own unique quality. No ousider can ever fully enter into it. I don't claim to know or understand the full depth of the loss that you personally are struggling with. But I do know this: Everyone will suffer with some form of loss. No one is exempt. And no matter what the loss, it feels like a hole has been torn in your soul that can not be mended. The difficult but necessary process of dealing with any loss is called grief. We are all dealing with loss. sooner or later, the things we hold dear are taken out of our hands. Sometimes gently. Sometimes harshly. But always painfully. It is my prayer that this message wll help to make this journey more understandable, bearable, and even hopeful for you. How does loss affect us?* Loss exposes our vulnerability: We like to think that we are really in control of our lives. Death or any other loss, shatters that illusion. It forces us to face the mortality and vulnerability that we despise. *Loss eventually makes us better or bitter: We try to buffer ourselves from the pain of loss in a multitude of ways, but often to no avail. The result of such unsuccessful avoidance is often deep anger and bitterness. There is, however, a better way to deal with inevitable loss. We must learn to put our pain to work for us. When the force and momentum of a painful loss is used to drive us to the God who can be with us in our most lonely moments, we will discover that there is a safe haven of rest in the midst of a painful world. People who can hear God say, " I will never leave you nor forsake you" are those who can then say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"(Heb. 13: 5-6). When we learn the meaning of this truth, we discover that even if others abandon us, betray us, or die on us, we will not only survive but also prosper. Learning to have such faith in God will not exempt us from the sting of loss, but it will provide us with the resources we need to deal effecively with grief. It will free us to love again from hearts that, while knowing the meaning of sadness and disappointment, are yet able to remain joyfully alive. Be encouraged. "We are troubled on every
side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted,
but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;...Nay, in all these
things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." ***************************************************************Letter # 42 (4.11.2000)*** (Next week: Can anything good come from loss?) |
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Copyright @ A.Othniel. aocc@vsnl.com
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