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All the police organizations in the world are called to meet at a
common place to evaluate the best organization. Only major
organizations like the New York Police, the Melbourne Police,
Scotland Yard, the Dutch Police and the Mumbai Police pass the
eliminations round. Now the task is to select the best one
among them. Surprisingly, all the 5 groups do equally well in all
the events so the judges put in a last (tiebreak) event to select
the best team. They set a tiger free into a nearby forest and the
team that catches the tiger in the least amount of time is to be
declared the winner. First the Dutch Police go into the jungle
and catch the tiger in 30 minutes. Next the Melbourne Police
go and return in 20 min. with the tiger. After this the New York
police go and catch the tiger in 15 min. Next Scotland Yard
detectives go in and catch the tiger in a mere 10 min. The
Mumbai Police have the the last slot.The tiger is released and
the Mumbai Police start chasing it. 10min go by.......20 min go
by......30 min go by....1 hour passes by....3 hours pass by. The
judges get vexed and decide to go into the jungle in search of
the Mumbai Police. In a short time after getting into the jungle,
they are amazed to find a big
BEAR tied to a tree trunk, being hit left and right by the Mumbai
Police, who are shouting, 'BOL TU SHER HAI ........... SALA BOL !
TU SHER HAI !! "
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Holmes and Watson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good
meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that
the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we
are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office,
ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too
close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side of the Lexus.
The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911,
and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance
to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.
His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the Same, no matter what the
body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting
and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the
elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a
very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across
the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high
for him to reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest
moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the
little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's
shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles
benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
Here's a poem written by an African Shakespeare
Dear white fella
Couple things you should know
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I cold, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black.
You white fella
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey.
And you have the cheek
to call me colored?????
MODERN LOVE LETTER: THE 'NEW AGE' LOVE LETTER.
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you
since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held
between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs,
I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would
be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility,
would be made permanent. Of course,upon completion of probation,there
will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes
leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for
coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the
expenses.
However I am broadminded enough, to be taken care of,
on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,
failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall
be considering someone else.I would be happy,if you could forward this
letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Romeo
DIFFERENCES
---------------------
#What is the differenec between a mosquito and a fly?
A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
What is the difference between a moquito and a fly?
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
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