A Self Instructional Manual

On

Family Life Education for

Adolescents

Sex education (or Family Life Education as it is recently called) has been one of the most neglected areas in our country. Because of our peculiar social fabric, youngsters feel hesitant to discuss these aspects with the elders, many of whom are themselves ignorant of correct facts. For majority of adolescents, then, the only source of information remains the media, which portrays sex with a highly distorted view.

The present booklet has been written to fill that void by providing matter of fact information for the adolescents about various aspects related to family life. The narrative is simple and acceptable to be read and discussed even with elders or teachers. We are not aiming to transform readers to experts but to learned persons capable of making their own decisions.

Experience all over the world has shown that imparting sex education does not result in increased sexual behavior ? rather it helps to curtail many unhealthy practices attributable to poor knowledge.

We do hope that the information presented herein will result in a more learned society and help the adolescents to adopt a more positive approach towards family life.

Dr. Tejinder Singh

MD, Dip. NB, FIAP,FIMSA

Professor of Pediatrics, Dean

And Programme in Charge

Christian Medical College, Ludhiana

FOREWORD

Dear Friends,

You must have often wondered as to how you were born, why you resemble your parents so much, what and why body changes take place and about many such questions. Unfortunately, in our country not many sources of this information are available for children of your age and you must have felt the frustration on being able to find answers.

I am glad that Dr. Tejinder Singh has written this simple booklet for you, which will help you find answers to many questions listed above and also to many other similar questions. You should remember that family life education is an important component of growing up and if you are knowledgeable about these concepts, you will be able to negotiate your path in life in a much better way.

I am sure you will find this booklet of immense value. If there are certain things you still can?t understand, please feel free to contact Dr. Tejinder Singh and he will be too happy to respond to your quarries.

Dr. H.P.S. Sachdev

MD, FIAP

Professor of Pediatrics

Incharge Clinical Epidemiology Division

Maulana Azad Medical College, New Delhi

And

Editor-in-chief, Indian Pediatrics

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

The two most important people in your life are your mother and father, because without them you wouldn?t be here today. Perhaps you?ve noticed, as you study the lives of famous people, that they always talk about their mothers and fathers.

If we?re going to talk about where you came from and how you grow, we need to talk about your parents. When you talk with them, I imagine their story is something like this.

Your mother and daddy have not always lived together. One time, a long time ago, your daddy was just a little boy and your mother a little girl. They grew up and met each other and decided they loved each other so much they wanted to live together ? always. Or your grandparents discussed and arranged for them to meet. They liked each other. So they were married. Have they ever told you about their wedding? Maybe you have seen some pictures they had made of their wedding. It may have been in a temple, or just a small wedding in a home. But wherever it was, there was something special about it because your father and mother were in love and they made a promise that they would live with and love each other the rest of their lives. It was a happy day for them. Your mother looked very beautiful and your daddy was very proud.

After they were married they found a place to live, and helped each other make a home. Home is where you want to go when you are tired. , Hungry or afraid. It is where you feel comfortable.

Have you ever seen birds making a nest? The father bird flies off and picks up twigs and little sticks and brings them back to the bush or tree where the mother bird starts putting them together. Then the father bird goes off again and brings back little pieces of string and yarn and grass, and the mother bird weaves them all together and makes a nest where

she can lay her eggs. Your father worked to earn money to buy what was needed (may be your mother had to work too), and your mother made the house comfortable and home-like. Your father and mother helped make the home, by doing the things each knew how to do. After a while, because your father and mother loved each other, the time came when you were born. So you see, you were born because your mother and father loved each other very much, because they wanted to have a little baby they could share their love with.

But where did you come from Well, let?s see if we can find an answer to that question.

LIFE IS IN CELLS

If you have a chance to look at a live leaf under a microscope, you will see that it is made up of many small parts, called cells. All cells have a thin wall that surrounds a fluid material that is remarkable because it is living. Many living things ? some animals and some plants ? are made of only one cell. Others are made of two cells, or a hundred cells, or billions of cells. When these cells live together in perfect harmony, they make up a living object ? such as a rabbit, a tree, a boy or a girl. In a human being there are many different kinds of cells. There are muscle cells, skin cells, bone cells, nerve cells, blood cells and many other kinds. And there are two very special kinds of cells that are needed to start the life of a new human being. Your mother has one kind of cell in her body, called an egg cell. Your father has another kind in his body called a sperm cell. It takes one of each kind of cell, united into one, to begin a new life. It is necessary to have both a father and a mother. One without the other is not enough, and could not make a new life.

  LIFE IN THE MOTHER COMES FROM EGG CELLS

When we say egg cells, you probably think of a chicken egg, the kind your mother might fix for breakfast. Now try to imagine, if you can, a chicken egg so small that it would take more than two hundred of them placed in a row to reach one inch. If the light is just right, and your eyes are very sharp, you might just barely see one without a magnifying glass, if they were out in the open, body where they cannot be seen. Each is round, like a tiny ball; it has a very thin wall, and inside the wall there is material for a new life. This material inside the egg is alive ? but it cannot grow by itself. It lives only a short time, and then it dies, unless it meets a cell from your daddy?s body, called a sperm. It is at this time that it will begin a new life. (But we?ll discuss that later.)

The egg cell comes from a special gland inside your mother called an ovary. Girls have two ovaries, each about the size of a medium marshmallow. They are in the lower part of the abdomen. Doctors, nurses and other people often speak of the abdomen as the belly. (You might have called it your stomach).

When a baby girl is born, the ovaries are already in her body, with small egg cells in each ovary. Most girls are about twelve or thirteen years old when the ovaries begin to change (remember they are, even then, very small), and the partly grown egg cells become full grown egg cells. After that, about once a month, one fully grown egg cell leaves one or the other ovary and is then ready to unite with a sperm cell from a father. If there are no sperm cells, then, in a few days, the cell leaves the body. Another egg cell is already getting ready to leave the ovary the next month. This monthly cycle of an egg leaving the ovary continues until a woman is about 45 years old. From then on, no more egg cells leave the ovaries.

Each egg leaves the ovary by passing through a small tube, called the Fallopian tube. There is a tube for each ovary.

Sperm cells grow in two parts of the father?s body called testicles. The testicles are in a small sac of skin resembling a round, deflated rubber balloon, and called the scrotum that hangs gently from the lower abdomen just in front of and between the legs of boys. They are on the outside of the body.

The sperm cells are much smaller than the egg cells, and the fully-grown testicles make millions of them. They are shaped something like a microscopic tadpole, bigger at one end with a long slender tail. They live in a liquid, much as tadpoles live in water, and they can move every rapidly by swishing their tails. When the sperm cells leave the testicles, they go through a series of small tubes that connect to the penis. The penis is just in front of the testicles, and is shaped something like a finger, but without bones and quite soft. There is a small opening in the end of the penis that the boy also uses to urinate. It is through this opening that the sperm cells leave the body too. However, sperm cells and urine cannot come out of the penis at the same time.

When a baby boy is born he already has testicles and a penis. As he grows, the testicles and penis grow just as fingers, legs, and eyes grow. Girls and women do not have these parts of the body.

The testicles are not ready to make fully-grown sperm cells until a boy is about thirteen of fourteen years old. Then his body also makes a whitish liquid, which the sperm cells need to swim in from one place to another. The liquid and the sperm cells together are called semen. Semen passes out of the body through the penis only at certain times. This can occur only when the penis is firm and erect instead of soft and limp, as it is most of the time.

Now you can see how wonderfully nature made the boy?s body as well as the girl?s. The girl?s organs that equip her to be a mother are safely on the inside of her body. It is here that the baby will be protected while it grows until it is ready to be born. The boy?s organs that equip him to be a father are on the outside of the body. The boy is usuallystronger and more active, and his organs, although very tender if squeezed, are not as delicate as the girl?s. Even so, you must be very careful not to kick or hit girls in the abdomen, and not to kick or hit boys between the legs ? for it could be very painful and might even damage these parts of our body.

HOW THE SPERM CELL MEETS THE EGG CELL

How does the sperm cell make its way from the father?s body into the mother?s body and merge with the egg cell? The answer is part of the story of the love of your father and mother for each other.

Surely you can name many ways your father and mother show their love to each other. Perhaps they give each other gifts at festivals or on birthdays. Maybe your daddy gives your mother something special on Mother?s Day. Your mother cooks things your father likes to eat, and sometimes your father takes your mother out at night for entertainment. Maybe you?ve seen your mother put her arms around your father, or perhaps you?ve seen your father hug and kiss your mother.

Sometimes a mother?s and father?s love takes on a special quality. At times like this they want to be alone, and want to be very close to each other in an act called "mating" or "sexual intercourse". When they lie close together in bed in a loving embrace, the father?s penis sometimes becomes erect and can fit into the mother?s vagina. After a few minutes of being very close, the father?s semen can then flow from the penis into the mother?s vagina. The sperm cells swim deep into the vagina, enter the uterus and go up into the tubes. The mother, of course, cannot "feel" the sperm moving up to find an egg cell.

 If there is an egg cell ready in the mother?s body, a sperm cell can unite with it to make a fertilized egg cell. Only one sperm cell can unite with the egg. If an egg is fertilized, it then moves down into the uterus where it stays while it is growing into a baby. However, sperm cells do not meet an egg every time they enter a mother?s vagina; for remember, an egg cell is released from an ovary only once a month and can be "fertilized" only during a two or three day period before the egg leaves the mother?s body.

Once the sperm cell has united with the egg cell in the mother?s tubes, the new cell moves into the uterus and attaches itself to the inner wall of the uterus ? and grows there for nine months. The moment the two cells unite is called conception and from then until the baby is born the mother is spoken of as being pregnant. No more eggs will be produced in the mother?s body until after the baby is born. In fact, this is the first sign the mother will have that she is pregnant, because her monthly cycle of producing new egg cells will stop.

Nine months is a long time, isn?t it? But the egg and the sperm are so small that it takes a long time for them to become a baby with eyes, ears, nose, mouth, arms, legs, stomach, skin, bones and every thing else. Nine months is really a very short time for all that to happen.

THE BABY GROWS INSIDE THE MOTHER

After the mother becomes pregnant, special care must be taken to make sure the mother and new baby will be healthy when the baby is born. During these nine months the mother should visit a doctor regularly, and he will tell her what she should eat, and will listen for the baby?s heart beat by placing a stethoscope against the mother?s abdomen. As the baby grows larger in her body she will see the doctor more frequently.

The doctor is the mother?s good friend during this time, and he will suggest ways she can help the baby be well and healthy when it is born. Most mothers who work (outside the home as teachers, librarians, in stores, or at jobs) are able to keep working right up until just before the time the baby is born.

For the last few months before the baby is born, a mother may wear different clothes, which are made to fit her growing body. Such dresses are called "maternity dresses" because maternity means motherhood.

This is usually an exciting time around the home. The mother and other members of the family start getting the new baby?s clothes and diapers ready, even before he is born. If this is the first baby they will do a lot of shopping, buying things like baby cribs, diapers, even a baby carriage.

HOW THE BABY GROWS IN THE UTERUS

While the mother and the rest of the family are busy getting ready for the baby, the baby is busy getting ready to be born. He keeps on growing and growing, safe inside his mother?s body. At first, of course, he doesn?t look like a baby at all. In the beginning he is simply a fertilized cell, too small even to be seen. But soon that cell divides into two cells. Each of these two cells divides so there are four cells. Each cell divides again, making eight. The cells keep on dividing. As new cells are made, the baby grows.

After the cells have divided many times, this little mass of cells begins to actually look like a human being. It is attached to the wall of the uterus and is drawing nourishment from the mother?s body. As the cells keep on dividing, they begin to form different parts of the baby?s body, such as the lungs, stomach, bones, muscles, skin, sex organs, and other parts.

At the end of two months the baby begins to look more like a baby, although a rather odd one. It is about an inch long, with a head about as big as his body. It has very tiny arms and legs and has eyes, ears, nose and mouth. By the third month of growth, the baby is three or four inches long and soon after this he can move his arms and legs. When the mother feels these movements, she is happy to know the new baby is growing normally. By the end of the fourth month, the baby is probably a foot long and weighs about one pound. By now he is beginning to kick his legs against the inside of his mother?s uterus.

At six months, the unborn baby looks more like he will after he is born, but he is still not fully developed. He needs to stay inside the mother where he is warm, protected, and fed. He is not ready to live outside his mother because the organs inside his body are not ready. His skin may be wrinkled, because he doesn?t have the padding of fat that will make him plump and help keep him warm after birth. In the next three months he will grow much faster.

By the end of the ninth month, when the baby is ready to be born, he weighs six or seven pounds and is about twenty-one inches long. Originally much smaller than the head of a pin, the egg and sperm have grown into a strong, squirming, lovable human baby.

You may wonder how there can possibly be room in a mother?s body for a seven pound baby. If you could see an unborn baby you would find that nature has expertly packaged him, with arms and legs comfortably folded close to his body, to fit into as small a space as possible.

HOW THE MOTHER?S BODY HELPS THE BABY GROW

During the nine months in his mother?s body, the baby is not only well protected, but well fed. Soon after the fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterus, a sac grows around it. The sac is filled with a warm protective waterlike fluid and the baby floats safely in this fluid-filled sac. This protects him from small jolts and bumps that otherwise might harm him. The baby can live in this fluid while he is in his mother?s body because he does not breath through his nose nor eat through his mouth. There is a special arrangement by which the mother?s blood brings him food that he needs, and the part of the air he must have in order to live. This part of the air is called oxygen.

A tube called the umbilical cord is attached to the baby?s abdomen at the place where his navel will be. The other end of this soft tube is attached to the side of the mother?s uterus at a place where there is a special network of blood vessels. Here mother?s blood vessels and the baby?s are close together. The network is called the placenta. Think of the umbilical cord as a small pipeline. Through it, some of the baby?s blood vessels run into the placenta. The mother?s blood does not flow through the baby or mix with its blood. Instead, digested food and oxygen flow from the mother?s blood into the baby?s blood and allow the baby to grow. The waste materials that collect in the baby?s blood pass the other way, through the umbilical cord (pipeline) into the mother?s bloodstream, and her body gets rid of them just as it rids itself of its own waste and leftover materials.

The mother, you see, is actually living two lives ? one is her own, and the other, the life of the little baby who is depending on her for its oxygen and food and elimination of waste products. Mothers who are expecting a baby like to say they are "eating for two". You can see that she is also breathing for two, and getting rid of waste material for herself and the baby.

The mother?s body is always capable of taking care of the baby that God has allowed to grow inside of it if she keeps healthy. The uterus enlarges while the baby is growing. Sometimes there are two babies in the mother?s uterus at the same time. When this happens, we call them twins, and the mother?s uterus becomes big enough to take care of both of them.

It is no wonder that everyone in the family thinks that this is a very important time in the mother?s life. Most fathers think that their wives are the most beautiful when they are pregnant. If you will look at the face of a woman who is pregnant, you will see that her eyes often sparkle, and her face shines as if God Himself has touched her. And indeed, He may have. Seldom does God come as close to a human being as when He lets a mother bring a new life into the world.

THE BABY IS BORN

After living nine months in the mother?s womb (or uterus), the baby is ready to live on its own, apart from its mother. Some babies are born after only seven or eight months n the womb. They are called premature babies, or "preemies". They may require special medical care in the hospital for several weeks after birth because they are underweight and not fully developed.

When the baby?s birth is near, something interesting happens. The mother?s uterus has been enlarging for a long time, but finally it stops getting bigger. Instead, the muscles of the uterus begin to push the baby out and into the vagina ? the passageway that leads to the outside world.

When the muscles of the uterus start contracting (flexing) and pushing the baby out, the mother feels cramps, something like a mild muscle cramp. This is called "labor", pain and the cramping sensations are called "labor pains". Usually she hurries to a hospital, where the doctors and nurses can assist her in the birth of the baby. If she is going to a hospital to have the baby, she probably has packed a suitcase ahead of time with everything she will need.

By the last weeks of pregnancy, the baby has usually turned until it lies head down in the uterus. The baby?s head is the first part of its body to be pushed into the mother?s vagina. The vagina stretches quite a lot so that it is big enough for the baby to pass through. The sac of fluid around the baby will probably break after the mother?s labor pains begin. Nature knows that it is time for the baby to leave the warmth and protection of its mother?s womb, and to make its entrance into the world. Before long the baby comes out into the world and not long afterward, the placenta comes out too. Immediately the mother?s body begins to return to normal, as the uterus starts shrinking back to its normal size.

Sometimes it takes only a few moments, but sometimes it takes many hours for a baby to be born. The doctor gives the mother some medicine to make her comfortable if the labor is hard enough so that she needs it. When the mother holds the baby in her arms she is so happy to see the little boy or girl that she tends to forget all about the time of labor.

When the baby is just born, the umbilical cord still connects the baby?s body to the placenta. The doctor ties and cuts the umbilical cord near the baby?s body. Since there are no nerves in the cord, cutting it hurts neither the baby nor the mother. When the opening at the end of the cord has sealed and healed, the stub of the umbilical cord drops off. The mark or depression that remains on the abdomen is called the navel.

Just about the first thing the baby does when he comes out into the world is cry. The doctor and nurses are happy to hear the baby cry, because they know that it has begun to breathe with its own lungs. Through its own lungs the baby must take in the oxygen for its body?s needs; it cannot depend on its mother for food and oxygen. Sometimes the doctor has to give the baby a spank on the bottom to make it start crying. This sometimes seems cruel, but it may be necessary, for vigorous crying helps the baby off to a healthy start in life. In fact, the more the baby cries when he is born, the more he exercises his lungs - which is good for him. You may think your little baby brother or sister cries an awful lot, but this may be just a sign that he has healthy lungs.

Mothers feed the baby from her breasts. Milk flows from inside the breast through opening in the nipples. When the baby sucks on them he is able to get warm fresh milk. The breasts have been preparing to make plenty of milk while the mother has been carrying the baby in her abdomen, and they will make fresh milk as long as the baby nurses. Once he stops nursing, the milk will no longer be made in the mother?s breasts. This is just another example of nature?s wonderful way of providing for the new baby. The milk from the mother?s breasts is just the right temperature and the perfect formula. Besides, the baby has natural instinct to suck. Maybe you?ve seen a baby sucking on a pacifier or on his thumb or fingers. God has given him this instinct, just as He has given the mother milk, so he will not go hungry.

Most mothers and fathers want to have the baby born in a hospital. Doctors and nurses have every thing there they need to take the best care of a mother and her newly born child. The mother is taken into a special room called a delivery room for the birth of her baby. The father usually waits outside in another room, waiting and praying for the mother, the doctor, and the nurses as well as the new baby. Newborn babies are usually pinkish red and quite funny looking, but to the mother and father their new baby is the most beautiful thing they?ve ever seen. After the baby is born, the nurse cleans the baby and then let the mother see him, if she is awake, and hold him in her arms. What a glad moment this is for her!

It?s a happy day when the mother and baby come home from the hospital. Of course, the mother may need to rest more than usual after she comes home, and the new baby needs special care. But the doctor and nurse will tell the family how to look after both of them.

All the new baby can do is feed and sleep and cry and wet his diapers. But everyone loves him, especially his father and mother who are the two people responsible for letting God take their two cells and form them together to create the new baby.

 Sometime a big sister or big brother in the family will decide he wants a little sister ? or little brother. Then when the baby comes and is not what they want, they pout and act very angry. But the mother and daddy are happy, whatever it is. They just take what comes! Have you ever wondered why some babies turn out to be boys, and others to be girls?

There are two kinds of sperm cells. One kind will produce a baby girl if it fertilizes an egg; the other kind will produce a baby boy. There are equal numbers of each kind. So you see, there is a 50-50 chance that the baby will be a boy and a 50-50 chance that it will be a girl. It depends on which kind of sperm has fertilized the egg.

Again we can see nature?s handiwork in all that we do. What if only one out of five sperm cells was a potential "girl" cell? That would mean that there would probably be four times as many boys as girls. Or what if it were the other way around and there were four times as many girls as boys? But God had all this figured out when He made us, and so we have about as many girls as we have boys. Sometimes people try to alter this equilibrium by killing unborn girl babies (or ?aborting? as it is called). It is against the law of nature and can have serious long-term consequences.

After the new baby arrives, friends and visitors at the hospital or in the home will stand around the baby?s crib and try to decide whether the baby looks like the father or the mother. "He has his father?s nose," someone says. " Yes, but he has his mother?s eyes," Grandmother says, "He looks just like his daddy did when he was a baby boy."

You see, everybody thinks the baby ought to look like someone ? that is, almost everybody. Sometimes visitors in your home may look at you and make remarks about who you look like. Perhaps you wish they wouldn?t; but you yourself have wondered, haven?t you, what makes a child look like his father or mother or some other member of the family.

The fertilized egg from which you grew was made when your father?s sperm cell united with your mother?s egg cell. No wonder, then, that you look like your mother, or like your father, or some other member of your family.

Through the sperm cell and the egg cell, family traits such as color of eyes, or hair, or the shape of nose, ears, or other features are passed along from parents to children. This is the reason that there is often a strong resemblance among brothers and sisters- although each is a different person. In fact, no person in the world is exactly like you. Each person is different, although you may look very much like your mother or father.

Tall parents are likely to have tall children, and short parents often have short children. But this is not always the case. You know of some parents who are very short but who have a great big tall son. The family traits that are passed on from parents to child are said to be the child?s heredity.

Sometimes children look more like there grand-parents, or an aunt or an uncle, than like there parents. And sometimes they don't look like anyone in the family! This is not surprising, because the combination of traits you can inherit is so great. Remember, half of what you are comes from your father and half from your mother. These mixtures can be combined in all sorts of ways. Your parents got their family traits from your grandparents and so on, back down the line of relatives.

The only case when brothers and sisters look exactly alike is when one fertilized egg grows into two or more babies, instead of one baby. If there are two babies, they are called "identical twins" or "like twins" because they come from the same fertilized egg. They are always of the same sex. They look so much alike that it is almost impossible to tell them apart. On a rare occasion there may be two egg cells released by the mother at the same time, and a different sperm cell unites with each one. They two babies grow in the uterus at one, but in this case, each one has a different heredity. These are "unlike" twins or "non-identical" twins. They do not look any more alike than most brothers and sisters do. One can be a girl, and one a boy- or both can be boys, or both girls.

Human beings are God?s special creation. All other living animals have babies too, but none of them are able to care for them as well as a human mother and father can care for their baby. Many animals have babies the same way that human beings do. Those that do are called mammals. The male animal places the sperm cells inside the mother?s body by inserting his penis into her vagina. The fertilized egg cell grows into a baby inside the mother?s uterus, and the baby comes out through the vagina at birth. The mother animal also supplies milk for the baby from her breasts, called "mammary glands". Many mother animals care for their young and protect them from danger.

Animals are different from humans in some very important ways. You may have wondered why animals such as cats and dogs have so many babies at once, while human mothers usually have only one baby at a time. In many female animals there are likely to be several egg cells released at one time, so more than one egg is fertilized at the same time.

There are other differences too. Animals do not choose their mates because they love them. A male cat may mate with any female cat he sees. He does not stay with the female after they have mated, to help her look after the kittens after they are born. In fact he would not even know his own kittens if he saw them. Even the mother cat does not look after them for more than a few weeks. The father bird is a much better father than the father cat, for at least he stays around to help feed the baby birds after they are hatched.

It?s a different story when human beings make a home; for human beings are the only "animals" that have the breath of God in them.

GROWING UP

If you look at snapshots of yourself as a baby, sometimes you can scarcely believe that you are the same person. Many parents have pictures of themselves when they were babies, and it seems strange that your mother and daddy were ever that small. One family I know has hanging on the wall, pictures of all their children taken when they were one year old. Now that the children are older, they like to go in and look at the pictures and laugh at themselves. Isn?t it funny the way we grow up? Look how much you have grown since you were a baby. Not only are you much taller and heavier, but you have grown up in other interesting ways that we are going to talk about.

Remember, in all these ways your parents helped you grow up. They have given you the food your body needs for growth. They have given you a home where you can work and play, sleep and rest. They have helped you learn many things about the world around you. They have sent you to school. If you tried to make a list of all the ways in which they have helped you grow up, it would be a long, long list.

GETTING TALLER

Have you ever wondered why you grow taller? There must be something inside you that makes you spurt up. Have you ever wanted to be taller than you are? Remember the times when you were measured beside one of your playmates or your brother or sister, and you stretched and stretched your neck like a giraffe trying to be taller than you were? Too bad we can?t make ourselves taller just by wanting to be taller, isn?t it? No, you grow taller the same way you grew in your mother?s womb, by your body cells dividing and making new cells. You can stunt your growth by not standing up straight or by eating improper foods ? but basically your height is something you cannot control.

You grow taller when the long bones in your legs grow longer, and the bones in your back, neck and head grow bigger. Both before and after you are born, your bones grow in two ways. They get bigger, and they become harder.

Some bones of little babies are soft because they have not formed into real bone yet. They are called cartilage. One of the places you still have cartilage is in your ear. Take your fingers and wiggle your ear around. See? It is hard but it is not as hard as the bone right beside it in your head. Babies? bones are mostly the soft variety, like you have in your ears. When the baby is ready to be born, some of his bones have become hard in some places. The bones in his head, however, especially in the top of his head, are still soft. This makes it easier for his head to pass through his mother?s vagina.

After the baby is born, it takes a long time for all the cartilage to change into strong, hard bones. You will be about old enough to go to college, or take a job, before all the changes in your bones are completed. This is the reason you should eat lots of good bone-building foods ? like milk, which is rich in calcium, a mineral that makes your bones hard. Boys and girls who eat lots of fresh vegetables, meats and milk will have strong bones and hard teeth.

The bones of your legs, feet, arms, and hands, are called "long bones", because of their shape. It has a long slim part in the middle that is called the "shaft", and a wider part at the end that is called "head". There is a layer of cartilage between the shaft and the head. Growth in length takes place in this layer of cartilage, which becomes hard bone as you grow older and eat the right foods.

The cartilage in the shaft gradually turns into hard bone, and some hard places form in the head end of the bone. At the same time, new cartilage grows in the cartilage layer at the end of the shaft. This goes on for years, and during all this time, the bone can keep on growing in length. At the same time that the bone grows longer, it grows thicker by adding new bones around the outside.

 Finally, no more new cartilage is formed in the layer between the shaft and the head of the bone. After that, the shaft and the head grow firmly together and the bone stops growing in length.

Growth in height, caused by growth in the length of bones, usually stops when you are between sixteen and the early twenties. You may be an "early grower", who reaches full height younger than some of your friends. Or you may be an "average grower". Or, like some, you may be a "late grower". You just might remain short until you are in high school and then, for no understandable reason, shoot up until you are taller than anyone else in school All these ways of growing are normal. Girls usually reach full height a couple of years sooner than boys of the same age, but boys usually pass them by the time they are in the ninth grade and go on to grow even taller.

Do you remember the term "heredity?" Remember we said it has to do with the parts of the egg cell and the sperm cell that created you in the very beginning? Heredity has much to do with your height. If you are tall, medium, or short as a little tot, you are likely to be tall, medium, or short when you are an adult. During the years when boys and girls have their spurt of fast growing, you may feel mixed up about your height. One year you may be shorter than all your playmates, the next year taller. Sometimes a girl will sprout up and be very tall and skinny and tower above all her playmates. But in a couple of years they will catch up with her ? and some of them might even grow taller than she is now than you were when you were in kindergarten. Can you guess how much stronger the grip of your hand is, at eleven years, than it was when you were six years old? It is just about twice as strong.

Many other parts of your body could be mentioned in this chapter on getting stronger. For example, your heart pumps blood through your body night and day. Your heart is a muscle, and like all muscles, the more it works the stronger it gets ? that is, if you take good care of it. Every minute of your life, your blood carries food and oxygen to all your body cells, and takes waste material from them. As the cells carry on their work and make new cells, your body grows. Your stomach, heart, lungs, head, skin, bones, muscles and nerves ? all of them ? grow. Sometimes, one part of your body grows faster than another, and so you may have very long legs or very large feet. But as you grow older the different parts of your body catch up with the other parts.

GROWING AND LEARNING

Have you ever tried to count how many things you have learned since you were born? If you counted every separate thing you have learned, there would be thousands of them. Many of the things you have learned, to do you weren?t even aware you were learning.

A newborn baby cannot sit up, or stand, or feed himself, or control his bowel movements, or talk. He cannot reach for something and pick it up. He can?t even focus his eyes on anything at first. One of the first things a baby learns to do is to look at his hands. He doesn?t even know they are there until one day he waves them in front of his face and WOW! "What?s that?" he says. After that he will spend long minutes just looking at his hands. Some months later, he will be able to grab at things with his hand and still later learn to pick things up between his thumb and fingers.

You can probably think of dozens of things that a little baby learns by seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, and touching. For example, he learns about milk by seeing it and getting used to the taste of the milk as he drinks it. Later, he learns how to swallow solid food ? and how to chew. But he has to learn all these things. The first time your mother put something into your mouth for you to chew up ? you spit it out.

By feeling and touching, the baby learns about things that are smooth and things that are rough. He learns about the sharp edges of his blocks, and the roundness of his ball, the softness of his pillow, or the hardness of the end of his bed when he bumps his head against it. He learns about his body, too, through his sense of touch.

By the time two or three years have passed, the little child can walk, run, jump a little, climb up and down stairs, throw things in a funny sort of way, jabber and use new words, and may be even ride a tricycle. A little later he can put on most of his clothes by himself (although he sometimes gets them on upside down and inside out), and he has even learned to go to the bathroom by himself.

When he was a little baby, his nerves and his muscles were not ready for him to do these things. Even if you hold a very young baby so his feet touch the floor, he cannot walk, because his nerves and muscles are not grown-up enough for walking. Besides, his bones are not strong enough to support him, and if you forced him to walk too soon it could make his bones bend (remember, they are still soft and won?t get hard until much later.)

Crawling strengthens their muscles without injuring their bones. And one day the baby will pull himself up, and then, before long, he will be standing alone in the middle of the floor. Then he will go PLOP! and sit back down. But all the time his muscles and bones are getting stronger and stronger until one day he will take his first step. After that it isn?t long before he is running all over the house.

It seems that growing and learning go together. Boys and girls of your age can run, jump, swim and throw a ball. You can play any number of gams better than first-graders, for example. You can easily do arithmetic problems (well, almost easily, anyway) and you can do the kind of schoolwork too hard for you when you were in the first grade. In fact, you can even read this little book ? which is something that would have been impossible several years ago. This is because you have been growing up in mind and body, and you are able to learn new, and harder things, as you grow.

LEARNING NEW WORDS

If there is a baby in your home, you know how excited the older members of the family are when he says his first words. It is just as exciting as when he takes his first steps. His first baby words are the beginning of his language, which he will need all his life. When he starts to school, he will learn to read and write words as well as speak them.

It is very important that you learn the right words to describe things that you do and see and learn about. Some of the most important words in our language are the words that describe your body correctly. However, since some of these words are hard to pronounce, your mother and father will let you use easier words while you are a baby. Instead of saying, "urinate" you may use words as "tinkle" or "wee-wee". These are usually family words, and each family will probably use different words. You can see, then, how important it is to learn the correct words before going to school. Wouldn?t it be terrible to have to go to the bathroom and not know the right word to ask the teacher so you could be excused?

There are many ways of having fun with language. Little children like to invent words. Perhaps you like to make rhymes, or riddles ? or you may think it is fun to learn new, hard words and try them out on your friends. Why not learn a new word now and try it out on your friends? The word is epidermis and it means the outer layer of the skin. Maybe tomorrow you can say to one of your friends, "My epidermis itches", and see what he says.

Many boys and girls seem to think that it is amusing or "smart" to use vulgar language when they talk about their bodies ? especially when they talk about members of the opposite sex. Possibly these boys and girls just don?t know the right words because they?ve never been taught. Or maybe they think that since some ignorant grown-ups use vulgar words, that it makes them seem grownup too if they use them. They don?t know that it also makes them seem ignorant. Have you ever used such language trying to impress someone? It is part of growing up to learn how to speak correctly of one?s body and not to joke too much about it or to make embarrassing jokes about someone else?s body. So make it a practice to learn, and to use, the right words about your body ? and about sex.

FEELINGS GROW UP TOO

When you were a baby you cried easily when you were hurt, hungry or uncomfortable. Crying was the only way of calling someone to help you, for you could do very little to help yourself. By now, however, you have learned many ways of getting yourself out of trouble without crying for help. You see, your feelings grow up, too.

Patience is one of the things you learn as you grow up. When you were a little baby you had little patience. If you wanted your bottle, or a toy, or your diaper changed ? you wanted it right away. That very minute. As you grow older, though, you often plan ahead for something you want and you learn that sometimes you have to wait to get the things you want.

Your feelings toward your parents change, too. When you were a little baby you loved them simply because they were there to take care of you. In fact, you would have probably loved anyone else just as much as your real parents if they?d been there to take care of you and shower their love on you.

As you grow older your love for your parents becomes maturer. When you were two or three years old you loved your parents mostly because they loved you. Now that you are older you may love them more for what they are ? and for who they are. You probably also show your love differently. As a little child you used to hug and kiss them. Now you like to think ahead, and plan to buy them presents, or help your mother in the kitchen, or help your dad in the lawn. One-third grade boy I know shows his love by getting up early each morning and emptying all the dustbins in the house into the garbage can before he goes to school. This is a nice way to show love, because love can be spelled in another way ? H-E-L-P!

When you were a small baby, you needed to be near your mother most of the time. Even when you started to kindergarten or first grade you may have felt unhappy about being left in a strange place without her. Now that you have been in school for several years, you don?t mind being away from home most of the morning and afternoon. You have made new friends, and you may ride your bicycle to visit them, even though they live a long way from you. It means you are spending more time away from your home than you did when you were a baby. But this does not mean you love your family less. It just means you are growing up, and your feelings are growing up at the same time. You are gradually becoming more independent as you grow.

Your feelings about your body also change as you grow up. For example, little babies do not think anything about modesty or immodesty. Sometimes little babies, even after they learn how to walk, will run through the house without any clothes on. They don?t care who sees them naked. As boys and girls grow older, however, they learn to develop a sense of privacy about their bodies. When you were a little baby you didn?t think about this at all, but now that you?re growing up, you think about it more often. Maybe your mother or father made some snapshots of you when you were a tiny baby ? and you were naked. Does it embarrass you now if they show these snap shots to their friends?

As you know, it is the custom to wear different kinds of clothes in different places. The clothes you wear for swimming are not the kind you wear to school. Probably in school, after your physical education classes, you will be showering or changing clothes in the presence of others of your own sex.

Your body is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, because God made your body. God does not want us to be ashamed of our bodies, but He does want us to dress modestly. In some homes, members of the family prefer to dress and undress privately, but in other homes, the children do not mind undressing with other members of the family. In all homes, however, some form of modesty is taught.

There are many different customs about modesty, and about keeping one?s body covered. These differences are not really very important. It is not surprising that boys and girls in one family, or one school, or one section of the country may have different feelings about these things. You yourself will probably change some of your own ideas as you grow older.

Some of your friends may have some peculiar ideas about the bodies of the opposite sex. This is because they have never been taught the facts. To be sure that your own ideas are correct, you may want to read this book again, and to talk about it with your mother and father.

EVEN FRIENDSHIPS CHANGE AS YOU GROW

As you grow older, your feelings toward members of the same sex and towards members of the opposite sex will change. Little babies don?t care whether their playmates are boy babies or girl babies. Even in nursery school and kindergarten little children play together without caring whether their playmates are boys or girls.

But by now, if you?re a girl, you probably don?t enjoy playing with boys. You have more fun when you?re with your girl friends. If you?re a boy you probably have some very strong feelings against playing with girls. You?d rather have your own gang of boys, or play with some pal. That?s fine. There?s nothing wrong with that. But don?t be surprised, if, after a few years, things begin to change. Maybe they?re already changing. Maybe some of your friends like to have a special boy or a special girl as a good friend. That?s all right too. Remember that no boy is jus like another boy, nor is any girl just like another girl. However, after a while, you?ll probably start feeling good when a member of the opposite sex pays some attention to you. You?ll probably blush and feel funny when someone kids you about having a boy friend or a girl friend. As you keep growing, you?ll soon find that if you?re a girl, boys are pretty interesting, after all. And if you?re a boy, you?ll find out that girls aren?t so bad either.

SOME CHANGES TO LOOK FORWARD TO

Growing up may seem awfully far away, but it won?t be long before you?re sixteen years old. Then come senior high school, and after that, college or maybe a job, getting married, and making your own home and having children. Before you know it, you?ll be a grandmother or grandfather shaking your head about "the younger generation?"

Before you grow up, however, you will go through several years when some big changes take place in your body. These changes will affect your feelings, the things you enjoy doing, even your ability to make decisions. This period of several years is called adolescence, and the first part of this period is called puberty, which is the time that your physical body grows up. If you are a girl, your body begins to make mature egg cells. If you are a boy, your body begins to make mature sperm cells. People usually call the teen-age years, adolescent years.

You will also notice some annoying outward changes in your body. Your face may seem "oily", and you will have pimples on your cheeks, chin, neck and back. There will also be a change in your "sweat", so that your body may have an unpleasant odor when you perspire. Because of this, you will need to take a daily soap bath, gently scrubbing your face, neck and shoulders. Use of deodorant will make it more pleasing for others to be around you.

If you have brothers and sisters in their teens, you know that teenagers sometimes feel themselves to be more grown-up than their parents think they are. Perhaps both are right! Teenagers are often more grown than their parents want to admit, but are not actually as grown as they think they are. But adolescence is a very interesting time for it is a time of growing, trying new things, studying and learning. It is also a time of high ideals, lofty dreams and ambitions, and sometimes, great disappointments. It is one of the greatest times of life and something you should look forward to with much anticipation.

HOW YOUR BODY WILL CHANGE

Do you remember, in the first chapter of this book, that we talked about a spurt of fast growth in height that happens to most girls when they are ten or twelve, and to most boys when they are twelve or fourteen? Before this spurt of growing is over, several parts of your body will begin to change. The first change is inward and you won?t notice it. Inside your body are several small organs called glands. These glands make certain kinds of chemicals called hormones.

The master gland is the pituitary gland. It is about as big as a large green pea or small marble and is located underneath your brain, deep inside your skull. It is hard to believe that such a tiny part of your body can be as important as this part is. This gland makes several different hormones. One of them regulates your height and size by controlling the way your bones grow. You may have seen pictures of giants, and dwarfs. Probably the giants had more of this hormone and the dwarfs less. However, nearly all children have just enough for them to grow up to a normal height. This gland also makes your sex glands mature at a certain age. The sex glands are the ovaries and the testicles. The ovaries make the female egg cells and the testicles make the male sperm cells. These glands produce the hormones that make girls look like women and boys look like men.

As the brain sends signals to these glands they begin to send their hormones into the blood stream to circulate all over the body ? and the first signs of adolescence then appear. This is nature?s way of telling your body that it is time to stop being a child ? and time to start growing up.

 HOW GIRLS CHANGE

Remember we said that when a baby girl is born, her ovaries and egg cells are not fully-grown? When girls are about eleven or twelve, the hormone of the pituitary gland that affects these glands causes changes to take place in the body.

Then what happens? She is likely to grow taller and slimmer, although she is gaining weight. Her hips broaden and round out, and her breasts grow larger. The hormones also cause hair to grow under her arms and in a triangular patch across the lower part of the abdomen in what is known as the pubic region. The girl?s voice becomes richer and fuller.

A girl is sometimes troubled if she develops more rapidly than other girls of her age do. One girl had well-developed breasts at the age of eleven, while all the girls in her class were still flat chested. But in just a short time the other girls started developing too, and soon all of them were looking like teen-age girls.

This new growth makes her attractive, and it is useful too, for God is preparing the young lady for motherhood. The widening of the hips gives her body a form more suitable for housing and giving birth to a baby some day. The breasts develop toward nursing a child when the time comes.

All these things may take several years for completion. Then, when the girl is about thirteen (although it sometimes happens earlier and sometimes later) her ovaries begin to make fully-grown egg cells, and after that, an egg cell leaves an ovary about once a month.

Every time an egg cell leaves an ovary, the lining of the uterus fills with an extra supply of blood as the uterus gets ready to take care of a fertilized egg. If the egg is not fertilized, it leaves the body painlessly a week or so later through the vagina along with some blood and the inner lining of the uterus. This is called menstruation. Menstruation begins about ten to fourteen days after the egg leaves the ovary and about seven to ten days after the unfertilized egg disappears.

You remember that if an egg cell is fertilized, it attaches itself to the lining of the uterus and stays there while it grows into a baby. In this case the extra blood is needed, and it does not leave the body. One of the signs that a baby has started to grow is that menstruation does not occur.

It is a very proud and happy day in the life of a girl when she notices the first slight discharge of blood from her vagina. It is nothing to fear, rather it is something to rejoice ? for it is on this day that she has evidence that she has indeed become a young woman, and will be able to have her own children later on.

Menstruation usually occurs for the first time after the other changes in the girl?s body have begun. After menstruation has started, a girl may expect it to occur about once a month until she is middle-aged ? usually sometime in her forties. However, young girls who have just begun to menstruate may frequently have a month or several months when they do not menstruate.

Menstruation usually lasts just a few days each month. A few girls may have mild abdominal cramps or aching in the lower back, particularly on the first day. However, it is a normal process, and most girls feel entirely well during the menstrual period. It is not a sickness, and as a rule, girls can continue their normal activity in every way. Personal cleanliness, though, is very important. Warm soapy showers or sponge bathing of the pubic area at least once a day should be part of a girl?s regular routine.

After menstruation is over, the ovaries are ready to release another fully-grown egg cell that will start on the same journey all over again. Some girls speak of menstruation as their "period", because it usually comes periodically, about every four weeks at a regular time. All this is part of God?s design for the continuation of life. Without it, no woman could ever have a baby.

HOW BOYS CHANGE

The same pituitary gland that sends hormones into the girl?s bloodstream and causes the changes in her body, also brings about changes in boys. When boys are twelve or so, they have an increased amount of hormones. Soon afterward, the testicles begin to make hormones that cause the boy?s body to change. Immediately you begin to notice a difference in your body.

Perhaps the first change you notice will be in your voice. Boys usually have high voices until their bodies begin to change; then their voices lower and deepen. Hair begins to grow on the lower part of the boy?s abdomen around his penis. Later it grows under his arms. About this same time boys will notice that the hair on their legs and arms is growing coarser and longer, and some boys begin to get hair on their chests. Soon the boy will be looking in the mirror and feeling his chin, wondering when it will be time to begin shaving.

While all this is going on, the boy takes on a different look. The penis and testicles grow larger, and the boy?s shoulders begin to broaden. He begins to take on the look of a man, although inside he may still feel very much like a boy. He begins to try to act "grown-up".

During these teen-age years, it may happen that a boy?s penis becomes stiff and erect. Several things can cause this. Sometimes at night, if the bladder fills with urine, the pressure from having to go to the bathroom will cause an erection. If this is the case, then simply going to the bathroom to urinate will allow it to return to its normal size. At other times, however, the penis may become erect during the night, and semen is discharged unexpectedly. This is called a seminal emission. It is a natural thing to happen, just as the changes that take place in the body are natural. It is nature?s way of allowing the boy to discharge semen when the pressure builds up inside the testicles.

After the sex organs have matured, and growth in height has slowed down or stopped, young people still have some growing up to do before they are ready to be fully "on their own". There are many things to learn about how to earn a living, how to make a home, how to take care of themselves, before they are ready to marry and have children of their own. The years in school/college are good years for learning some of these things.

In school, boys and girls make many new friends, and have a lot of fun working and playing together. Having many friends will help you learn something about how to choose a husband or a wife. Right now, at your age, your father and mother are your best helpers in choosing your friends.

Growing up physically and sexually is important, but it is only part of the process of becoming an adult.

EPILOGUE

We hope, you enjoyed reading this booklet. You must have learnt a lot of new facts and ideas ? however, there may be still certain areas left which may not be clear to you. You are welcome to contact me and I would be too pleased to offer you any help in this regards.

Best wishes for a long and happy life.