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Positively Stuff: |
Give me a month or two... I'm trying to be spontaneous. |
| The rate at which you mature is Propotional to the embarrassment you can tolerate!!! |
| FORM IS TEMPORORY... CLASS IS PERMANENT!!! |
| Haste makes wastes. |
| Silly is a state of mind, stupid is a way of life |
| Concentrate on where you want to
go, not on what you fear |
| My gearbox is like a box
of chocolates - You never know what you're going to get |
| Do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true |
| All the world's a stage, but we'll pass through it someday |
| Monday is the root of all evil J |
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional! |
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. |
| Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. |
When all else fails, lower your standards. |
Life is too black for short
coffee
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Seek out the company of
those who are searching for the truth |
| I started out with nothing & still have most of it left |
It is not because things
are difficult that we do not dare, |
90% of the time I'm right, so why worry about the other 10%? |
| A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. |
| A sign of an approaching
nervous breakdown is thinking that one's work is terribly important" |
| If you think education is expensive, try ignorance |
| The only disability in life is a bad attitude |
| C'mon Something ....... Happen! |
The importance of waking up is difficult to appreciate while asleep |
I wore a plain white T-Shirt - and LOTS of people wanted to know what the slogan was |
If someone is trying to stop you
achieving |
The best way to teach your kids about money is not to have any. |
People play games to avoid playing real life |
It's too bad I'm not as
wonderful a person |
Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry |
Drive defensively -- buy a tank |
Learn how to laugh at yourself |
| If you don't respect the person you are
talking to - It doesn't matter WHAT they say |
| If you really loved me, you'd do something about my manipulative tendencies |
| As you slide down the bannister of life may all the splinters be pointing in the right direction |
| Never let your memories be greater than your dreams |
Falling Doesn't Make You a Failure, |
| There is little difference in
people. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative |
| When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody |
| Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand |
| Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair |
| And You worry that you just might be wrong? |
The Santa Claus
we know today was invented in 1931
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|
The Millenium is based on a calendar created in
Rome, 526 Anno Domini (A.D.) Rather than starting with year zero, the calendar begins with the date January 1, 1 A.D. So, the next millennium is not officially reached until January 1, 2001. |
| "SMOKING KILLS. AND
IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE." - Brooke Shields |
|
A bishop of a century ago pronounced that
heavier-than-air flight was both impossible and contrary to the will of God. Bishop Wright had two sons, Orville and Wilbur! |
| "They
couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..." General John Sedgewick, Union Army Last Words, 1864: |
| "It isn't
pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle |
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LOG IN: Make a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no mor wood.
MONITOR: Keep an eye on the woodstove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the fahrwood off'n the truk.
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the fahrwood off'n
the truk.
FLOPPY DISC: Whacha git from tryin' to carry too much fahrwood.
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the fahrwood.
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time.
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
WINDOWS: Whut ya shut when it's cold outside.
SCREEN: Whut ya shut when it's blak-fly season.
BYTE: Whut dem darn blak-flys do!
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottum of the munchie bag.
MODEM: Whacha did to the hay fields.
DOT MATRIX: Ole Dan Matrix's wife.
LAP TOP: Whar the kat sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Whar yuh hang yore keys.
SOFTWARE: Them plastik forks and knifs and spuuns.
MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
PORT: Fancy City Folk wine.
ENTER: California talk fer, "C'Mon in, ya'll"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer that
new rifle, when yore wife axks.
MOUSE PAD: Hippie talk fer a rat hole.
(For sum reasun, my spellchecker went wild!!! Cain't figur it out!)
Full Forms of some of the computer related words:
PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
WWW - World Wide Wait COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
CD-ROM - Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defective Operating System.
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft.
Few other adages: www.claddaghbotanical.com
